Hannah, I was an investment banker during 1997-2000 and your story is exactly what I experienced. It’s almost unfathomable that there has literally been NO INNOVATION in this field since I left. The trappings are the same and the experience still turns promising, talented young people into dull automatons.
There are so many more ways to make money now vs selling this masqueraded form of insurance (what else did you think a fairness opinion is?) and “putting lipstick on a pig.”
Keep sharing your story….because that’s what gives others permissions to take a different path.
I've been thinking a lot about how (for me anyway) a lot of prestige trap was about the perceived safety. Banking, consulting, big tech... they feel like the "reasonable" choice since your parents understand them and they're culturally validated. So like even if you're miserable at least you're miserable in a recognisable and relatable way. Startups and untraditional career paths feel riskier both financially and socially because they can fail and there is no established playbook you can follow. But I loveee how well you've captured the idea that the "safe" path has its own massive risks: burnout, years lost to work that doesn't fuel you, becoming someone you don't recognise. And with all the layoffs, that safety was always kind of an illusion anyway
That’s such an insightful read - if everyone around you works in banking / consulting etc, hating your life feels part of being in the social circle, to the extent that if you said you loved your job they’d be like…wtf
Hannah, thank you for writing this. Sharing your story will liberate others.
I have been in the Triangle for 10+ years. For a long time, I have felt dead inside. Dread every Sunday night. Anxiety every time the phone vibrates. Being with people I love while my mind is still at work.
It took a lot of self-reflection, therapy, books, and YouTube to realize I was trapped in at least two of Max Weber’s three Ps: Power (influence), Prestige (status), and Property (money). I never cared about power, but I unconsciously needed stability (family with history of painful money decisions), and I bought into the culturally-validated “safe” career path that @Amritha described so well. Add eight years of visas plus the green card process, and the cage feels even heavier.
Enough.
I will never have all the answers. I have to put myself out there and go through the discomfort of feeling "exposed", and ask for help. Because the only way to find clarity is to connect with others.
So here I am at 35, networking and applying again. Looking for a mission-driven startup with good people that would welcome a simple guy from Argentina who wants to build meaningful relationships while building something real together.
I felt the best way to honor you sharing your story was to share a piece of mine.
I was never in the triangle but got into tech by being scrappy. I am on my own search for meaningful work and tend to get bored easily! I like to think of “career” as just trying and experimenting like you did too Hannah.
Hannah, I was an investment banker during 1997-2000 and your story is exactly what I experienced. It’s almost unfathomable that there has literally been NO INNOVATION in this field since I left. The trappings are the same and the experience still turns promising, talented young people into dull automatons.
There are so many more ways to make money now vs selling this masqueraded form of insurance (what else did you think a fairness opinion is?) and “putting lipstick on a pig.”
Keep sharing your story….because that’s what gives others permissions to take a different path.
Thank you Paulina! Like you said, crazy how little things have changed
This really resonates.
I've been thinking a lot about how (for me anyway) a lot of prestige trap was about the perceived safety. Banking, consulting, big tech... they feel like the "reasonable" choice since your parents understand them and they're culturally validated. So like even if you're miserable at least you're miserable in a recognisable and relatable way. Startups and untraditional career paths feel riskier both financially and socially because they can fail and there is no established playbook you can follow. But I loveee how well you've captured the idea that the "safe" path has its own massive risks: burnout, years lost to work that doesn't fuel you, becoming someone you don't recognise. And with all the layoffs, that safety was always kind of an illusion anyway
Thank you for sharing!
That’s such an insightful read - if everyone around you works in banking / consulting etc, hating your life feels part of being in the social circle, to the extent that if you said you loved your job they’d be like…wtf
Hannah, thank you for writing this. Sharing your story will liberate others.
I have been in the Triangle for 10+ years. For a long time, I have felt dead inside. Dread every Sunday night. Anxiety every time the phone vibrates. Being with people I love while my mind is still at work.
It took a lot of self-reflection, therapy, books, and YouTube to realize I was trapped in at least two of Max Weber’s three Ps: Power (influence), Prestige (status), and Property (money). I never cared about power, but I unconsciously needed stability (family with history of painful money decisions), and I bought into the culturally-validated “safe” career path that @Amritha described so well. Add eight years of visas plus the green card process, and the cage feels even heavier.
Enough.
I will never have all the answers. I have to put myself out there and go through the discomfort of feeling "exposed", and ask for help. Because the only way to find clarity is to connect with others.
So here I am at 35, networking and applying again. Looking for a mission-driven startup with good people that would welcome a simple guy from Argentina who wants to build meaningful relationships while building something real together.
I felt the best way to honor you sharing your story was to share a piece of mine.
WOW this is a deeply powerful frame - the 3 P's! You sound like a smart, driven person and i'm confident you'll land somewhere great. Rooting for you
I feel honored that you decided to share your story publicly too!
This resonates! Thanks for sharing. I left the Triangle a couple of weeks ago and never felt better. Keep posting.
I was never in the triangle but got into tech by being scrappy. I am on my own search for meaningful work and tend to get bored easily! I like to think of “career” as just trying and experimenting like you did too Hannah.
Love that!
thanks for sharing yours!